File #76 something bad.

Well- something bad is that Agent Rhinestone's UGG's melted. She set them next to the heater to dry after a particularly long walk in the snow and forgot about them. The next morning one of her UGG's was twisted into some sort of clubbed looking foot shoe glob blob.

Oh dear.
Agent Rhinestone may be exaggerating just a tad for dramatic effect. I mean- she can still wear them they just feel kind of weird.

In other news:
Has anyone ever heard of "Wrap Rage"?
Wrap rage (or wrapping rage or package rage) is the common name for heightened levels of anger, frustration and violence resulting from the inability to open hard-to-remove packaging.[1]

This seems very bad! A lot of holiday accidents occur because people actually injur themselves as a result of wrap rage.
Holiday tip #1:
Please be careful. If you feel yourself becoming weirdly rageful- put down the packaging and have a spot of cider or a glass of vodka... or something!!!

File #75... brrrr...Snow Day #6???

Rhinestone has lost track of how many days the Seattle streets have been absolutely covered in snow. The mornings have been full of powdery tromps to the Vivace for coffee- the evenings complete with slippery sloped walks to the movie store and hours spent nestled indoors with BF Rhinestone, Fancy D and Sparkle. Even Mr. and Ms. Sexpot zoomed over from West Seattle to partake in the city's wintry wonderland. Sledding down Denny in kiddie pools or atop garbage bags, old street signs and boogie boards...is the perfect way to spend an evening.

Now Rhinestone will attempt to brave SeaTac airport... for the hopefully short trip home to California. She can't wait to see her lovely, lovey little family.

Before leaving... Rhinestone has just got to finish wrapping gifts!

This years gift wrapping designs will include:

Recycled Salmon colored wrapping paper.

Black Satin Ribbons.

Vintage inspired silver glitter'd gift tags...

Tres Holiday... So recycled chic!

File #74 SNOW!

Agent Rhinestone and Fancy Drew just returned from a 2 hour walk in the snow. Rhinestone fell into the splits while tromping down a hill- but managed to keep a good hold on her soy latte.

Fancy fell down a hill and slid all the way down... Rhinestone cried actual tears from laughing.




Snow tip #1... Always wear a dark coat in the snow. This will allow you to see the beautiful individual flakes more clearly. They'll fall on your coat perfect and sparkly. They melt within seconds- so be sure to keep a close watch.

Snow tip #2... You don't really need to wear blush- because your cheeks will get rosy naturally from the cold air. (Agent Rhinestone made that mistake this morning. She looked like a sleepy Grandma.)


Well that's all for now.
...Time to look out the window or perhaps take an other little tromp outdoors.

File #73 Let it SNOW!

Agent Rhinestone has turned into somewhat of a weather girl... with a little help from weather.com of course...

It was supposed to snow last night and all day today. Fancy Drew got to take the whole day off work because all the Seattle schools were closed. But... there is still no snow!

When is the snow coming? When can Rhinestone don her snow gear? When will an actual beautiful little flake drop upon her brow? Let it SNOW!!!

File #72 Stop the Romantic Comedy...

According to Wikipedia: Romantic comedy films, colloquially known as romcom, are movies with light-hearted, humorous plotlines, centered around romantic ideals such as a true love able to surmount most obstacles. Romantic comedy films are a sub-genre of comedy films as well as of romance films.

Agent Rhinestone has been watching too many romantic comedies. For most people this would not be a problem... but it has given Agent Rhinestone grandiose ideas about love and relationships. She's constantly waiting for the fancy love surprise at the end of a long bad day.

Where is the man in the limo under her apartment window... playing opera music and holding roses... waiting to take her off to some giant fun life situation?

Oh great...

Where is a prince on a unicorn when you need it?

sniffle, sniffle, tear....

File #71. Brr....

Are you there God?
It's me Agent Rhinestone. I'm wearing 3 pairs of socks and UGG's... a giant leopard coat and I'm still just freeze'n.

When you get a chance... can you turn the heat back on...

Sincerly,

Agent R.

File #70. goodbye facebook!

Agent Rhinestone has decided she may be ready to begin exploring the lost art of letter writing and talking on the phone...

In other words... she has decided to delete her facebook profile. Anonymous is the new famous.

File # 69. Christmas in Rhinestone Land.

'Twas a few weeks before Christmas, when all through the flat...

Not a creature was stirring, not even a cat;

The stockings were hung by the bar with care,In hopes that someone named James Blonde soon would be there;

Agent Rhinestone, Sparkle and Fancy Drew were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of glittery trees and balls danced in their heads...

Time for Agent Rhinestone to settle in for a long winters nap.

zzzz....

File #68 update.

Just in case anyone was wondering....

Agent Rhinesotne's new earplugs arrived the other day. They are really cute but they don't work at all! I guess it's back to the 33 decibel, bright orange, squishy fuglies.

Maybe the tassle'd Audrey ones could be used for a costume or something.... earplug pasties?

File #67 Voicemail for landlord.

Agent Rhinestone: Hi, This is Fae from The Martha Lee and I was just calling because....
my bathroom sink makes this really loud noise when you turn on the hot water and...
my shower water just turns off right in the middle of my shower and...
the tank in the back of my toilet doesn't really seem to fill up with water unless you pull some hangy thing back there.... and so... I think there may be some sort of plumbing situation going on- but I'm not sure.
Oh.... and my freezer still doesn't work.... which is kind of weird.

So... just like give me a call when you get a chance and have a great day!

Click!

File #66. Which Baby Monkey is your favorite?

1. The almost human looking newborn?

















2. The flying monkey?















3. The baby twin finger grabbers?












4.The one in the questionable pose?















5.The tiny almost real fashionista human baby monkey?
















6. or... The monkey with the nice Grandpa man?





















Agent Rhinestone chooses option 1. He looks nice and would probably be okay with wearing a pink sequin'd dress and riding piggy back around the new wing of Southcenter Mall!

Monkey's are the new puppies! Go with it!

File #65 Christmas?

Agent Rhinestone is feeling a bit out of touch with the holiday spirit this year. All she really wants to do is pack up her Louis Vuitton luggage and hit the beaches of Mexico.
Madonna just kicked off her Latin American tour... Why shouldn't Agent Rhinestone?

In conclusion...
Miss Rhinestone is now accepting gifts of giant diamonds, pink ostrich feathers, baby lambs or puppies, designer string bikinis and travel vouchers to Puerto Vallarta.

sigh....

File #64 Agent Rhinestone left MySpace....

After many years of clacking away on myspace..Agent Rhinestone is officially done!

She would like to bid people like Mathew... a not so fond farewell...

File #63 Thanksgiving in California...

Agent Rhinestone cooked dinner while Ma Rhinestone set the table:



She danced with Brother Skylar in the kitchen (sorry the video is sideways.):


Spent almost every second with Sister Lil' Z and the new kitten Lucy:


She and Mamma Rhinestone spent hours in the kitchen talking (we love to sit in the kitchen):


Found pictures of herself when she was just a little Rhinestone:


And... found pictures of her brother and sis when they were teensy:



And... wished for a house just like her Mother's someday...so shabby chic!


And...last but not least- she tried to eat the kitten. She's so small and cute!:

File #62 The Heavenly Spies in Maybe Manic? with the Castaway's at The Triple Door!

Just in case you didn't know....now ya know!

After 6 month, SOLD OUT run at Can Can in the Pike Place Market, Can Can Presents brings MAYBE MANIC? to the Tripledoor mainstage. The Castaway's are known for their patented hybridization of flamenco, belly dance, neo-burlesque, hip-hop, and acrobatics. This rapid-fire explosion of raw sexiness, athleticism and showmanship will leave you...MAYBE MANIC? Featuring choreography by Rainbow Fletcher and an all star cast of all your favorite Castaways including Herr Doppelganger, Jonny Boy, Rainbow, Benihana, Fuchsia Foxxx, & Faggedy Randy!
The Castaway’s are joined by very special guests Exotic World Winning burlesque troupe The Heavenly Spies, known for their death-defying high kicks and gravity-defying hair!

Thursday 12.04.08
The Triple Door, Mainstage
7PM (18+) / 9:30PM (21+)
$19 adv / $25 day of
To make reservations:
Box Office: 206.838.4333

www.thetripledoor.net

File #61 Spies on TV.

So the Spies were on TV last night! Steven Fry in America!

If you start watching around 3 minutes into the video...it's all about The Can Can!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_AhObUoMfw&feature=related

We're like famous... kind of!

xo.

file #60 trying to zzzzzzzzzzz.....

Agent Rhinestone has come across the need to wear earplugs...her tote presh BF sometimes snores a little...or a lot...
Anyway...this morning she decided to re-watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's". She had completely forgotten that Miss Holly Golightly has almost impeccable sleep fashion sense... nude with all the right accessories! (please note... Agent Rhinestone refuses to sleep nude...I mean..what if there was a fire???)

Anyway...Anyway...Anyway...

Agent Rhinestone found her very own pair of fashionable tasseled earplugs on the internets...

Goodbye bad...

Hello Fab!

File #59 It's like Valley of the Dolls all up in here...AGAIN!

Sometimes life is exhausting...
After planning Shimmy the Vote, doing 2 shows of Viva Oz Vegas on Halloween, staying out way too late, an unfortunate run in with a spray tan machine, countless rehearsals, economy blahs, 2 weeks of total weirdness at work, BFF moving to NYC this Tuesday and other unmentionable little life dramas...

Agent Rhinestone is ready to take 2-3 Tylenol PM's and hit the satin sheets.



P.S James Blonde I miss you already!

File #58 Shimmy the Vote!

Shimmy The Vote!
The Heavenly Spies + Ultra present red, white and boobs at Chop Suey.
Nov. 3rd Doors at 8:PM Show at 9:PM (the eve of elections)
$5 at the door + donations

Proceeds will be donated to Planned Parenthood in Sarah Palin’s name.

www.ticketweb.com

1325 E Madison St Seattle

Hosted By:
Ben De La Crème as Sarah Palin

EmpROAR Fabulous
Lady Sparrow
Shanghai Pearl
Lucky Penny
Sydni Devereux
Iva Handfull
Belle Cozette
Pigeon from the Von Foxies
Sassy DeLure
The Castaway’s
Inga Ingénue
Queen Shmooquan
The Heavenly Spies + Ultra

File #57 Oh Great!

Holly and Hugh broke up! What is this world even coming to? If Agent Rhinestone were Hugh Hefner...she totally would have zoomed into marraige with Holly! She's the best of all the girlfriends. This is just tragic.

Oh dear...first the economy and now this!
sigh.

File #56 Baby Got Barack!

File #55 What are these videos?

Self as a doll?

File #54 Agent Rhinestone + Warm 106.9

So this may come as a shock to those who don't know Agent Rhinestone but...
she is a huge fan of listening to Warm 106.9 when she is driving home at night.

It's not the music... it's Delilah. From 7PM to 12AM- you can listen to 'Love Songs with Delilah"

... people call in from all over the country to get advice from her. She knows all about things like Jesus, loved ones in Iraq, husbands, childrens, Kenny G's... She knows all about everything Agent Rhinestone knows nothing about....it's just fascinate'n.

Just the other day Agent Rhinestone was talking with her BFF Nightingale Noir about Delilah... come to find out.... Noir can do an almost prefect impersonation!

Anyway- Agent Rhinestone got to thinking about Delilah this morning and all the good she does on the radio... come to find out (thank you wikipedia)... she's a total fox (kind of!)



















Not only is she a partial fox....she's a single mother of 10 adopted children. She's kind of like a Brad and Angelina combo, but with more kids and shorter skirts.

Tres Americana!

So trashy chic!

File #53 Viva Oz Vegas

Come see The Heavenly Spies in Viva Oz Vegas!

P.S. Hoepfully Agent Rhinestone doesn't look quite this mean, scary and psycho in real life.
(Oh dear)

File #52 Cute.

Agent Rhinestone is like every other girl. She likes things that are small and cute. Below are some things that are both small and cute.

Here's a tiny little animal resting near something pink. so cute.

Here's a real life chub dog...next to a fake chub dog. so cute.

Here's an animal that is both cute and creepy, sucking on somthing that looks pretty weird. so cute.

Here are the Heavenly Spies when they were babies.


Here is what Agent Rhinestone feels like today.

File #51 zzzz.

Is it time to get back in bed and read Twilight yet?
Oh dear.

File #50 Agent Rhinestone is a sad lamb.

Dear JB.

Words choke in Agent Rhinestone’s throat when she imagines what it will be like to have you on the other side of the country. It’s unbearable.

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!

File #49 Brother Rhinestone in love?

Agent Rhinestone's brother Skylar is all grown up, complete with a new girlfriend! They took a class trip to the fair and rode on the rides together... the next weekend Mamma Rhinestone took them on a date to the movies.

Agent Rhinestone can't help but tear up a little whenever she looks at this picture. Sklyar is just the sunshine of her life and to see him with that proud little smile is simply heart melting.

File #48 Fall is in the air.

For the first time in months Agent Rhinestone woke up in the night feeling a little chilly in her little apartment for 1. She had to fumble in the dark and find her stash of extra warm quilts hidden in the hall closet.
Summer is officially over.
Agent Rhinestone is actually feeling quite pleased. She's almost completely ready for the winter months.

She has recently purchased new fall boots- that like totally embrace her inner cowgirl:













She's ordered new metalic UGG's... just in case her inner cowgirl get's sleepy:












Well- at least Agent Rhinestone's feet are ready. (Not sure about the rest of her. )

Stay tuned... handbags and coats are next on the shopping list.

File #47 James Blonde made her do it...

James Blonde has requested that all of her readers post the below list of snacks into their own blogs and bold all the items they have eaten...

So here it goes...A list (in bold) of snacks Agent Rhinestone has tried...
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart(tofu hot dogs)
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans (Mamma Rhinestone's fave snack)
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka + Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (not on purpose)
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk (brother Rhinestone loved goats milk as a baby)
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle (ha ha)
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (almost killed Agent Rhinestone in Germany)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Whoa, oh Snack Attack!

File #46 Don't Sarah Palin, Don't.

Agent Rhinestone requests that you read the below article about Sarah Palin and take into consideration the future of our world and all of it's creatures.

Eve Ensler, the American playwright, performer,
feminist and activist best known for 'The Vagina
Monologues', wrote the following about Sarah Palin:


Drill, Drill, Drill
I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last
night that she was a member of a club where they rode
snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved
polar bears around their necks. I have a particular
thing for Polar Bears. Maybe it's their snowy
whiteness or their bigness or the fact that they live
in the arctic or that I have never seen one in person
or touched one. Maybe it is the fact that they live
so comfortably on ice. Whatever it is, I need theM
polar bears.


I don't like raging at women. I am a Feminist and have
spent my life trying to build community, help empower
women and stop violence against them. It is hard to
write about Sarah Palin. This is why the Sarah Palin
choice was all the more insidious and cynical. The
people who made this choice count on the goodness and
solidarity of Feminists.


But everything Sarah Palin believes in and practices
is antithetical to Feminism which for me is part of
one story -- connected to saving the earth, ending
racism, empowering women, giving young girls options,
opening our minds, deepening tolerance, and ending
violence and war.


I believe that the McCain/Palin ticket is one of the
most dangerous choices of my lifetime, and should this
country chose those candidates the fall-out may be so
great, the destruction so vast in so many areas that
America may never recover. But what is equally
disturbing is the impact that duo would have on the
rest of the world. Unfortunately, this is not a joke.
In my lifetime I have seen the clownish, the inept,
the bizarre be elected to the presidency with
regularity.


Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I take this
as a metaphor. In her world and the world of
Fundamentalists nothing changes or gets better or
evolves. She does not believe in global warming. The
melting of the arctic, the storms that are destroying
our cities, the pollution and rise of cancers, are all
part of God's plan. She is fighting to take the polar
bears off the endangered species list. The earth, in
Palin's view, is here to be taken and plundered. The
wolves and the bears are here to be shot and
plundered. The oil is here to be taken and plundered.
Iraq is here to be taken and plundered. As she said
herself of the Iraqi war, 'It was a task from God.'


Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion. She does not
believe women who are raped and incested and ripped
open against their will should have a right to
determine whether they have their rapist's baby or
not.


She obviously does not believe in sex education or
birth control. I imagine her daughter was practicing
abstinence and we know how many babies that makes.


Sarah Palin does not much believe in thinking. From
what I gather she has tried to ban books from the li
brary, has a tendency to dispense with people who
think independently. She cannot tolerate an
environment of ambiguity and difference. This is a
woman who could and might very well be the next
president of the United States. She would govern one
of the most diverse populations on the earth.


Sarah believes in guns. She has her own custom
Austrian hunting rifle. She has been known to kill 40
caribou at a clip. She has shot hundreds of wolves
from the air.


Sarah believes in God. That is of course her right,
her private right. But when God and Guns come together
in the public sector, when war is declared in God's
name, when the rights of women are denied in his name,
that is the end of separation of church and state and
the undoing of everything America has ever tried to
be.


I write to my sisters. I write because I believe we
hold this election in our hands. This vote is a vote
that will determine the future not just of the U.S.,
but of the planet. It will determine whether we create
policies to save the earth or make it forever
uninhabitable for humans. It will determine whether we
move towards dialogue and diplomacy in the world or
whether we escalate violence through invasion,
undermining and attack. It will determine whether we
go for oil, strip mining, coal burning or invest our
money in alternatives that will free us from
dependency and destruction. It will determine if money
gets spent on education and healt hcare or whether we
build more and more methods of killing. It will
determine whether America is a free open tolerant
society or a closed place of fear, fundamentalism and
aggression.


If the Polar Bears don't move you to go and do
everything in your power to get Obama elected then
consider the chant that filled the hall after Palin
spoke at the RNC, 'Drill Drill Drill.' I think of
teeth when I think of drills. I think of rape. I think
of destruction. I think of domination. I think of
military exercises that force mindless repetition,
emptying the brain of analysis, doubt, ambiguity or
dissent. I think of pain.


Do we want a future of drilling? More holes in the
ozone, in the floor of the sea, more holes in our
thinking, in the trust between nations and peoples,
more holes in the fabric of this precious thing we
call life?


Eve Ensler
September 5, 2008

File #45 Pain in her neck.

Every few months Agent Rhinestone wakes up with a frozen, painful and very stiff neck. The most recent episode occurred upon waking Tuesday morning...

She instantly called her BFF and down stairs neighbor Fancy Drew for moral support. Fancy told her to call Half Moon in Fremont for an acupuncture appointment. Since Agent Rhinestone is a firm believer in anything Fancy recommends...she called Heather at Half Moon immediately!

A few hours later...

Agent Rhinestone lay on her stomach with a dozen or so needles in her feet, back, neck, hands and arms. She felt absolutely euphoric....she closed her eyes and had visions of millions of peeps in mosaic like patterns. She didn't know if she was awake or dreaming but she loved it!

Acupuncture was the first thing that has ever made her poor little broken neck feel better...and the first thing that has ever made her wish she could buy marshmellowy easter peeps all year round....

File #44 World meet Chandy....

Agent Rhinestone had her very own real life Chandelier installed yesterday afternoon!

Introducing Chandy:


Tres Chic!

File #43 Rhinestone Basquiat

The other day Agent Rhinestone was standing in her kitchen doing the dishes. She glanced up and noticed that the prefab art hanging above her kitchen sink was absolutely horrific.

She was all of a sudden over come with a Basquiat-esque feeling. She ripped the canvas from the wall, pulled out her collection of brushes and acrylics and began to create.

She covered the painting in tulle and then painted over it. She made dramatic swirls and flicked paint onto the canvas. She knocked over a vase of water and decided to just go with it. She finger painted the water into the painting and left the rest to spill off the table and onto her boots. She felt hungry and thirsty, her head ached... but she didn’t stop. She kept painting.

After 1 hour she looked around and saw that she and her couture kitchen was covered head to toe in acrylic paint. She didn’t care.

Agent Rhinestone picked up her (still wet) painting and hung it back in it’s place above the kitchen sink. She cleaned up the mess around her, changed her clothes and proceeded with the day as though nothing had ever happened.

File #42 Simple

Agent Rhinestone is craving the simple life. Not the kind of Simple Life that involves Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie milking cows for millions of reality television viewers… but the kind where life is just more simple.

The tiny town of Seattle seems to be full of the same sorts people talking the same sorts of nonsensical gossip, sipping the same sorts of countless cocktails and smoking the same icky cigarettes outside the same nightclub doors. There comes a point in one’s life where it all just seems silly and boring. If things aren’t done in moderation, they’re exhausting.
Perhaps it is because Agent Rhinestone is getting a teensy bit older and a teensy bit wiser. She is a teensy bit tired of dressing up in the same mini dresses, dancing the night away and falling into bed at dawn- tipsy and muddled.

Perhaps that is why James Blonde created sober September...Which means that she and Mr. James Blonde will refrain from imbibing any sort of alcoholic beverage for the entire month of September...quite a clever idea!

Agent Rhinestone has officially decided to create moderation September, which means...
No excessive shopping.
No gossip.
No excessive eating of “Essential Baking Companies” rosemary bread.

And Yes..YES…YES..YES to Hot YOGA, eating leafy greens, baking things, painting pictures, having friends over for long chatty dinners, taking walks, going to Fremont Market, taking dance class, reading books and doing house projects.

As for the rest of the year and beyond….Agent Rhinestone is kinda done with her former lifestyle. She’s officially hanging up her leopard print mini dress- purchased for her trip to Vegas last year.

Well- actually…..that may be too extreme... some of her favorite things happened while wearing that dress...