Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
File #111 iBurlesque.
I guess Agent Rhinestone has been zoomed onto a new iPhone application. (Bad picture...oh dear.)
iBurlesque.
If one were to download this new application they could tilt their iPhone to the right and it would look like Agent Rhinestone's clothes came off. Wooo Hoooo! Wow. Wow. Great!!! Scantily clad via the cellular phone apple interwebnets.
iBurlesque.
If one were to download this new application they could tilt their iPhone to the right and it would look like Agent Rhinestone's clothes came off. Wooo Hoooo! Wow. Wow. Great!!! Scantily clad via the cellular phone apple interwebnets.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
#110 Gary.
If Agent Rhinestone had one of these she would name it Gary. Gary would wear a small pink bow upon her curly tail and carry a lacy parasol. Rhinestone and Gary would take walks upon the shore in the summertime, eat leafy green salads and be life long friends.
File #109 Thursday Thoughts.
Thought 1:
Agent Rhinestone secretly yearns that she could predict the future. Wouldn't life be a bit easier if you didn't have to wonder what was going to happen next? You would automatically know silly things like...
a. Should I get married to so and so.
b. Should I buy those ridiculously expensive shoes or will I lose my job tomorrow?
c. Should I cut my hair off or would I miss it?
d. Will my future baby be cute or slightly odd looking in the face?
Thought 2:
Rhinestone has recently decided that it is rather hard to be human. As a human girl (or woman or whatever) you are constantly having to navigate around other weird humans. Other weird humans have fears and insecurities and sometimes really bad senses of style. Some have no sense of humor- which is Rhinestone's least favorite quality. I mean- WOW humans. Don't humans.
Thought 3:
Aren't names weird? Your parents give you a name at birth.. which is really just a word and then you are expected to answer to that word for the rest of your life and you have absolutely no say in it. Wow.
Thought 4:
Lately Rhinestone's main response to anything is "Shush" or "Shh". Sometimes life is just hilarious. It's so funny you have to tell the person making you laugh to hush because you can't even stop laughing.
Thought 5:
Don't self. Shush.
Agent Rhinestone secretly yearns that she could predict the future. Wouldn't life be a bit easier if you didn't have to wonder what was going to happen next? You would automatically know silly things like...
a. Should I get married to so and so.
b. Should I buy those ridiculously expensive shoes or will I lose my job tomorrow?
c. Should I cut my hair off or would I miss it?
d. Will my future baby be cute or slightly odd looking in the face?
Thought 2:
Rhinestone has recently decided that it is rather hard to be human. As a human girl (or woman or whatever) you are constantly having to navigate around other weird humans. Other weird humans have fears and insecurities and sometimes really bad senses of style. Some have no sense of humor- which is Rhinestone's least favorite quality. I mean- WOW humans. Don't humans.
Thought 3:
Aren't names weird? Your parents give you a name at birth.. which is really just a word and then you are expected to answer to that word for the rest of your life and you have absolutely no say in it. Wow.
Thought 4:
Lately Rhinestone's main response to anything is "Shush" or "Shh". Sometimes life is just hilarious. It's so funny you have to tell the person making you laugh to hush because you can't even stop laughing.
Thought 5:
Don't self. Shush.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
File #107 Dreaming, AGAIN!
So...
Dream 1: Agent Rhinestone dreamt she had a baby that was an actual tiny cute girl with perfect outfits and teeth. She told Rhinestone gossip and brushed her hair.
Dream 2: Rhinestone's BF took her for a walk in LA. It was warm outside and everyone was driving in shiny convertibles. Mother's pushed their babies in prams made of new tan boot leather and everyone had giant cell phones. They walked and walked and ended up in a park... there were hundreds of french artist's with easels all drawing pictures of live models wearing Prada tunics, thigh high stockings and great shoes from last season's collection. Rhinestone and her BF looked at each other and laughed and began walking again. They ended their journey at a high rise apartment. Miss O had planned a birthday masquerade pot-luck dinner. Agent Rhinestone didn't know anyone at the party, but she was thankful for the giant table of vegan snacks.
So... Why does Agent Rhinestone keep dreaming about babies and high rise apartments. She is so freaked out.
Dream 1: Agent Rhinestone dreamt she had a baby that was an actual tiny cute girl with perfect outfits and teeth. She told Rhinestone gossip and brushed her hair.
Dream 2: Rhinestone's BF took her for a walk in LA. It was warm outside and everyone was driving in shiny convertibles. Mother's pushed their babies in prams made of new tan boot leather and everyone had giant cell phones. They walked and walked and ended up in a park... there were hundreds of french artist's with easels all drawing pictures of live models wearing Prada tunics, thigh high stockings and great shoes from last season's collection. Rhinestone and her BF looked at each other and laughed and began walking again. They ended their journey at a high rise apartment. Miss O had planned a birthday masquerade pot-luck dinner. Agent Rhinestone didn't know anyone at the party, but she was thankful for the giant table of vegan snacks.
So... Why does Agent Rhinestone keep dreaming about babies and high rise apartments. She is so freaked out.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
File #106 Dreaming.
Agent Rhinestone was dreaming like so much last night!
She dreamt she had 6 children. She took her 6 children to the roller skating rink and lost 1 of them... then realized her teenage son Shane (who designs Heavenly Spies posters in real life) had run off with some girl to smoke the pot. While Rhinestone was searching for him she ran into James Blonde who had decided to give her Walter the dog. Agent Rhinestone happily took the dog and renamed him "Walter the Amazing." Then she skipped down the street and ended up at a high rise apartment in Miami with her BF.
She dreamt she had 6 children. She took her 6 children to the roller skating rink and lost 1 of them... then realized her teenage son Shane (who designs Heavenly Spies posters in real life) had run off with some girl to smoke the pot. While Rhinestone was searching for him she ran into James Blonde who had decided to give her Walter the dog. Agent Rhinestone happily took the dog and renamed him "Walter the Amazing." Then she skipped down the street and ended up at a high rise apartment in Miami with her BF.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
File #105 looking.
Agent Rhinestone just got home from yoga class and is now sitting at her kitchen table eating carrots and peanut butter. She is sitting, snacking and looking around.
She sees:
1. sequins all over the kitchen floor.
2. 2 wine glasses drying on the dish rack.
3. juicy couture sunglasses that don't look quite right on, but somehow never end up in the give-away pile.
4. tiny temptations candles in the flavors: cinnamon cream cheese hearts, happy birthday vanilla and boysenberry vanilla. (Purchase some at your local grocer today- they smell fantastic.)
5. her new pink yoga pants. (Don't forever 21.)
Well- now she's bored of sitting and looking. Better knock on Sparkles door or start choreographing her solo for the new show....or cleaning up those sequins.
Well. Bye.
She sees:
1. sequins all over the kitchen floor.
2. 2 wine glasses drying on the dish rack.
3. juicy couture sunglasses that don't look quite right on, but somehow never end up in the give-away pile.
4. tiny temptations candles in the flavors: cinnamon cream cheese hearts, happy birthday vanilla and boysenberry vanilla. (Purchase some at your local grocer today- they smell fantastic.)
5. her new pink yoga pants. (Don't forever 21.)
Well- now she's bored of sitting and looking. Better knock on Sparkles door or start choreographing her solo for the new show....or cleaning up those sequins.
Well. Bye.
Monday, March 16, 2009
File #104 boot prob.
It's a real problem now.... a real actual problem. Agent Rhinestone just purchased yet another pair of tan boots. How many pairs of tan or brown boots does one girl need?
And that's really all I have to say about that. OK.
And that's really all I have to say about that. OK.
Friday, March 13, 2009
File #103
Last night The Spies performed one of their new acts at Moisture Festival. It felt equivalent to running a 4 minute mile while wearing a wig, fishnets, heels and a Lawrence Welk tunic... and.... ooof... Agent Rhinestone is tired today.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
File #102 Plastique!
The Heavenly Spies present: PLASTIQUE with special Guest Ultra at Can Can!
After four sold out runs at Can Can, the award winning cabaret dance troupe The Heavenly Spies are back with their all new show Plastique! Plastique is CABARETCOUTURE, combining contemporary dance, jazz, and Barbie Doll-esque fashion in dynamic choreography with attention to detail and finish. Members of the Heavenly Spies are Fancy Drew, Honey Sexpot, Agent Rhinestone and very special guest star Ultra. Known worldwide for their death-defying high kicks and gravity-defying hair, the Heavenly Spies are proud to present the mod, mod world of Plastique!
Friday nights at 10:30PM Opening in April.
Can Can 92 Pike St. Seattle 98102 (in the Pike Place Market.)
10:30PM (21+)
$10 General Admission / $15 day VIP
For reservations: 206.652.0832
www.thecancan.com
About The Heavenly Spies: The Heavenly Spies joined forces in an underground assassin training camp outside Topeka, Kansas after finding a common love for both sleuthing and slinking. The girls were kicked out of assassin training after getting caught having a pillow fight in assassin secret headquarters, so they decided to leave the traditional constraints of espionage and join forces in sexpionage. Members of The Heavenly Spies are Agent Rhinestone (Former Sea Gal, Winner Best Duo Miss Exotic World Pageant and Cornish College of the Arts Graduate, Dance.) Honey Sexpot (Former Sea Gal and graduate of University of Washington.) Introducing Fancy Drew (Member of Scott Powell Performance, Former member of Fankick! and graduate of Cornish College of the Arts, Dance.) Their combined specialties include fishing for clues, fishnets, secret societies, Victoria’s Secret, venom tolerance and vodka tolerance!
About Can Can: Ringmaster Christopher Snell is creator of Can Can- Seattle's most celebrated, award winning nightspot in the city known nationally for its cutting edge performances (Voted Best of Seattle by- Seattle Magazine, Seattle Metro Magazine, City Search, AOL City Guide). Located in the heart of the Pike Place Market in Seattle, Can Can is recognized for extraordinary entertainment, food and libations in a comfortable, underground European style setting.
Monday, March 09, 2009
File #101 A summertime fashion study.
Faggedy Randy:
Fancy Drew:
Agent Rhinestone:
Oh time of Summer.... you are so close! Get here soon so we can don our Madison Beach fashions and swim upon the glittery lake of Washington.
Photos courtesy of Fancy Drew.
Fancy Drew:
Agent Rhinestone:
Oh time of Summer.... you are so close! Get here soon so we can don our Madison Beach fashions and swim upon the glittery lake of Washington.
Photos courtesy of Fancy Drew.
File #100
Happy 100th Blog entry.
Pour 1 down or out or whatever for my fabulous BFF's. I wish we were all together drinking champy with a straw and talking about clever topics....
File #99
Agent Rhinestone woke up this morning with the distinct feeling of wanting to climb under a pink fluffy tulle rock. Why?
1. Drank too many Mango Mimosa's at BF's birthday party last night. (enough said.)
2. Shopped way too much at "forever 21" (forever 29) this week. Please note the yellow shopping bags peeking from behind the tulle on Agent Rhinestone's couch. (Yes- she knows plastic bags are bad for the environment.)
3. Don't stack of bills!
4. YES! Apache Bras for the new show! Aren't they tote beaut! Agent Rhinestone would gladly crawl out from underneath her pink rock to wear one of these bad boys!
5. Don't stack of bras that have yet to be bedazzled. Better crack open a bottle of Sofia Coppola and get to work.
6. Don't economy and the state of Agent Rhinestone's employment. At least she has more time to do things like shop for the new show and make up 8 counts of high kicks in her living room!
7. Sigh....
1. Drank too many Mango Mimosa's at BF's birthday party last night. (enough said.)
2. Shopped way too much at "forever 21" (forever 29) this week. Please note the yellow shopping bags peeking from behind the tulle on Agent Rhinestone's couch. (Yes- she knows plastic bags are bad for the environment.)
3. Don't stack of bills!
4. YES! Apache Bras for the new show! Aren't they tote beaut! Agent Rhinestone would gladly crawl out from underneath her pink rock to wear one of these bad boys!
5. Don't stack of bras that have yet to be bedazzled. Better crack open a bottle of Sofia Coppola and get to work.
6. Don't economy and the state of Agent Rhinestone's employment. At least she has more time to do things like shop for the new show and make up 8 counts of high kicks in her living room!
7. Sigh....
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